My work should be a reality show...

I certainly haven't posted in here in a while!
Lately, I guess I've just been really busy with too much other crap. Too much thinking about what I want to do with my life.. and just being far too stressed out with where I am at now. Quitting smoking sure went out the window fast for me. Any time I've tried quitting, it's always the stress that beings it back up again.
Mostly my fault though, I allow my job to stress me out more than it should.
That being said, you would think I had some serious hard working job... HA! I don't at all.. I work in retail.. which in theory, is pretty fucking simplistic. However, when your boss creates stress for you every day, based on their own personal bullshit.. it's no longer a simple retail job.
My job description, according to what I do... is endless.
If you ever decide to work for a locally owned business.. make sure you either know that this business isn't just scraping by every day. Or, make sure your boss keeps their personal problems far away from their business.
I feel like every day, my job is in jeopardy. Maybe tomorrow I won't even have one any more.. That's the problem.. I really can never know 100%. It's no fault of my own though if it were to end, not like I would be fired. I can't control the flaws of the owner or the debts they have built up to put their business in such peril. If it did end tomorrow, I would probably drink a bottle of wine and be relaxed for the first time in months! I would also share that joy with my co workers.. knowing our hell ride is over!
I have been looking for other jobs.. so it's not like I'm not being proactive. I also know that quitting before finding something, as tempting as it to walk out even at this very moment.. will only cause more problems. Sometimes though, it's not worth the hassle to feel like shit over a job you don't care about.

My boss... does not understand how to properly manage/run a business. It's actually quite sad. There are simple business 101 things that not just business owners, but everyday people with common sense can see.
Don't dig yourself into debt that will bury you. If you do.. keep your employees out of it. I feel as though it's my debt some days.
Don't tell your employee's every aspect of what could potentially go wrong, so they are worried every day about their futures.
Don't have more stores than you can afford to put employees in. Working 2 stores with 1 wage is ridiculous. If I'm busy in one store, I have no choice but to ignore customers in the other, which in turn, reflects poorly on me, you, and the business's reputation. Not to mention shoplifting!
That being said, if a store makes 10% of the cost to run it... CLOSE IT! How is that at all hard to comprehend?
Don't lower your most valuable employee's wages (to help cut costs), then expect them to do more. All you are asking for is contempt towards your business.
Don't use other business's services and not ever pay them what they are rightfully owed! There are only so many bridges to burn in this city... and it looks like you've just about used and abused all of them! Included in that, when you have collectors coming after you, don't leave your employee's to deal with said business's anger towards you.
Also, if you plan to have a business with a store front.. stocking the store might help! Nothing is worse than being blamed for how poor sales are, when you are stuck with next to no sizes to sell! Again, that reflects poorly on your business!
My last major point, if you are so worried about how your business' are going to make it, and worrying about every bill month to month.. one small thing that might help.. BE HERE! Be at your business every day, work hard to make sales knowing it's YOUR livelihood at stake! Don't just sit at home dictating what you want done, and focusing all your time on schemes to make fast money, or pointless hours sitting by a computer working on things that are never going to happen. It's a waste of time, and part of the reason your business WILL fail. Quit being lazy, making excuses and just generally pissing away your time and do something proactive.

Sigh... There are many more I could add to this.. but I'm sure you get the point. My boss is incompetent.
The worst part is, I've always wanted to own my own business. I also would like to take accounting. Those are my goals. So watching all of this happen is extremely painful for me. The only good side, is that it shows me that I certainly can succeed at what I want to do, because I would never treat my business nor myself that way. I have to much self respect, common sense and understanding of even basic business practices.

Soon I will be out of here, and will actually have a sense of happiness when it all comes crashing down. It's coming down to a matter of months that this business can actually survive. If only the owner could realize this.. but I'm sure the fantasy land they are in is much more peaceful than the reality that is failure. I wish I could be so numb, idiotic and naive.

The Thirteenth Step

So with Chris working nights, I decided to hog the middle of the bed, and fall asleep listening to some of my favorite music. After only one song, I then had to sit up and write about how much I love this album. 

A Perfect Circle's "The Thirteenth Step" is by far my favorite album. No matter how many times I listen to it, I enjoy and love it every time. It is one of the only albums I NEVER will put on shuffle. I have to listen from song 1 to 12. The succession of the songs is incredible. No matter my mood, this album makes me appreciate having music in my life. 

If you have never heard this album, you must give it a listen. Front to end. 

I have seen this band live once. It was in an open field in Alberta at a festival. They played at night, and I can simply say.. I was completely in shock to be seeing them, amazed at how fantastic the scenery for the music was, and perfectly impressed with selection of songs I heard. They are on my list to see again.. And again! 

I do enjoy their other albums as well, "Mer De Noms" is bloody fantastic as well. However, I can never hear enough of "The Thirteenth Step". In fact, the other day Chris showed me an article about a casket that has speakers, so you can play music for your departed while they are underground, (as ridiculous this may be, as I do believe that is a silly thing to waste money on), if I were to have one. Just this album over and over would be my hopes. 

So.. Moral of the story.. Listen to this album. Best listened to with headphones on.. ;) 

I'm sure I will always be writing about my love of specific albums, artists or even songs! So until then.. Good night! 

Oh p.s.

Speaking of songs I enjoy, ZZ Top's newest single, "25 Lighters", is a cover of an old gangster rap song about dealing crack. In case you didn't know. Strange.. 

Fuck Religion.

When I first started to keep a blog, I knew it would contain more than a few posts regarding religion. Most people who know me, know how I feel regarding this "touchy" subject. Ridiculous, embarrassing and crude are words I would use to describe it.
Perhaps it's the upcoming holidays that are triggering this post. Perhaps it's the way it is always shoved in our faces that gets me to this point of how I am feeling. Anger. That is how I am feeling as I write this.
After getting in a huff about the subject only yesterday, I awoke to this photo on my facebook newsfeed:

I'm sorry, I guess I just was not aware that Canada was in fact a purely Christian country! My mistake.. must have missed the memo! First words that came to my mind.. Racist and prejudiced. Let me get this out first.. I'm almost 100% positive that history teaches us, the first people on this land we call Canada were of Aboriginal/Inuit descent. Their belief system does not involve Christianity. The Christian faith was brought over by families (of many cultures and countries through time) that in fact, came here.. Immigrated if you will. Myself included. So.. perhaps if there is a belief system Canada should be represented by, it should in fact be the beliefs of the said Aboriginal/Inuit people of our country. But that would be insane! That would mean throwing out your self righteous, racist and prejudice ways.. and we can have that now can we?

If I say Merry Christmas.. it's because to me, it is nothing more than words. Jesus christ is often my curse word of choice. Again, to me, it is merely words. I am slowly but surely giving up my filter, and not caring about who I am offending. It's fucking INSANITY that people all over the world have to tip-toe around religious beliefs, even when they do not hold them, out of fear of offending someone. Religious people do not care if they offend you, buy sharing their beliefs, handing you pamphlets or just generally rubbing it your face that they are somehow better than you for believing that some mystical being created us all.
Churches have billboards.. spreading their word. NO ONE would allow me to put up a billboard supporting me saying something anti-religious to share my word. People hand you pamphlets everywhere, explaining how you will be cursed if you don't beg and pray for forgiveness of all your sins. I could not very well do the same thing with an anti-religion pamphlet.. No sir, that would likely be considered harassment and bashing religious beliefs. How have we let our world come to this point? Where religious rights are held higher than a human beings right to freedom of speech. (Yes, I am aware that these folks also have the freedom of speech to say what they will about what they believe.. but in turn, so should any non-religious people!)

After seeing this photo, I needed to know what the actual percentage of Christians in Canada were.. it's actually frightening to me, 77%. Fuck me! Guess that explains how Stephen Harper is our prime minister.
Take just a moment to imagine how amazingly peaceful our world would be had religion never been "invented" by mankind. ......... Pretty wonderful sounding isn't it?

Considering the facts regarding religious leaders sexually abusing innocent children throughout years, people still believe that is the righteous path? What the fuck is wrong with your heads. You can honestly tell me that situations such as that are alright? Or that they begged some imaginary man for forgiveness and that makes it all better? While in the meantime, if a normal person who doesn't preach the lord, or belief in such faiths, were to do that.. it is wrong. They should be punished, outcast-ed and in some situations put to death. I'm not saying I agree with molestation of children.. but I also don't agree with ANYONE doing it. Especially not someone who parents teach their children they can trust. It makes me fucking sick to my stomach that people are and can be, that stupid.
Wars.. a lot are in fact caused by religion. If you learn anything about religious wars, it tells you that is completely fine to murder people based on different religious beliefs. Somehow, again, that sits fine with people.
If someone is different, doesn't have the same beliefs or chooses to live their life without a religious belief system.. they are wrong. They must be made example of. Gay rights are bashed and lost among religious rights. Women's rights are lost among religious rights. Human rights are lost among religious rights. It's disturbing, and sickening. Our world can only suffer and end with this happening.
One of my favorite NOFX songs on their most recent album "Coasters" is called "Best God in Show". If you've never heard it.. I highly suggest it (well I highly suggest the whole album.. ). Here you go, have a listen:
http://youtu.be/HRJAQUqbeXc
 My favorite part of the lyrics:
Who would read a 2000-year-old medical journal? Techniques for blood-letting, advice on trichinosis. Would you navigate the globe with a map of a flat Earth? Without DNA testing would you believe virgin birth?
So, here are a few .. e-cards for thought. I'm sure I will have more posts about religion.. so stay posted for those! ;)

The whole world should be sterilized!

So I watch the news in the morning, because I'm super awesome like that.

I've always strongly believed that probably 60% of people should not have children, or, not as many children. When a woman has a baby, I think there should be a "test" of sorts, you know, to see if you can actually take care of this child financially and emotionally. A lot of people would fail.
Far too often do I see parents mis-treating their children. Screaming and yanking them around in public. I've once said something to a woman, who brought her children to the mall, and felt the need to scream at them to basically stop moving or making any sounds at all.. They were being FAR from bad, I've seen bad kids.. These kids were just regular kids.. Giggling with one another. If you can't handle your kids in a public setting and you have to get stuff done, here's a tip.. Babysitter!! Or, CALM THE FUCK DOWN! If you are willing to act so atrocious towards your kids in public, for doing nothing wrong.. I can't even begin to imagine what will happen at home, in private, when they make a mistake, or misbehave.
So, all that being said, back to how I watch the news every morning.
Recently on the news, there was a couple who had locked their granddaughter in a windowless furness room, given her no food, and more or less leaving her to die.
I misheard the info the first time I heard it, I thought she had in fact died, thankfully she didn't.
The couple was given 3 years in prison. They were charged with "failure to provide the necessities of life". Ok!! First off, you knew she could die, you obviously didn't give a rats ass. Is that not attempted murder? Or even torture? If someone did that to an adult, it would certainly be one of the two, but because its a child you simply failed to provide?! Fuck that.. Because its a child I think makes it much worse!
And 3 years in prison? Oh! Great! Courts really showed them!
There are many people around the world who do this stuff to their children, or, just emotionally abandon their children. They don't properly provide for them, they don't help them grow into a responsible, healthy adult. They should have never had children to begin with!
It reminds me of a series of books I read, the first one was called "A Child Called It". The boy was tortured beyond anything. It is a true story written by the boy himself. There are 3 books in the series. The first is the story about his life with his mother, father and siblings and the tortures he encountered in his early years. The second is about his life in foster homes and the subsequent abuse he receives in those years. The final book is about how is early traumas affect his life as an adult, as he is married with children of his own.
I highly suggest reading them. It's tough to get through, only because it is so awful, but it definitely gives you insight into the types of people who are able to care for children.

So that's my rant on children. Just because you can get pregnant, and can give birth, and can have a child.. Doesn't mean you should.

Religion = Poison.

I'm sure this is a touchy subject for some. I'm also sure this will not be my only post on the subject.
I am certainly not a religious person. I was not raised religious (thanks Mom and Dad). I can appreciate and respect that everyone is entitled to believe what they want, and to have their own opinion. Hence my feeling that I too can have my own opinion on this matter.
I guess it's just never made sense to me, even as a child. Someone in the sky, created us.. They create us out of love. Very few things within the bible sound like love to me. It started with Adam and Eve... So would that not make us all one family? Through blood lines? If God loves everyone, why is there so much suffering? Why are some people then given special treatment?
If I were to believe in such things, and everyone was created equal on this earth.. Then certainly we would all have equal opportunities.
Like I said, you can believe what you want. But there are some major flaws in this story.
Love everyone? HA! Religion is full of the most judgemental bullshit in the world. So many rules on who will go to heaven and who will be cast into flames! Personally, I would NEVER want my children growing up thinking of they make mistakes in life, or choose to live their life differently they will go to hell. That's awful!
I guess I consider myself more, scientific as oppose to spiritual. I believe there are many things that can't be explained in this world.. Would I chalk it up to an imaginary person in the sky, NO! This world, this planet, is complex. Things evolve and change, and there is major evidence to back this up.
Ever play the game telephone? Where a story is passed around and eventually through being heard and told by so many different people, the story ends up so changed.. Well, isn't that how the bible came to be? Stories. Stories that were passed on. And if Jesus rose from the dead, would that not make him a zombie?

Oh the questions I have! I guess what really angers is me.. is religious folk who love to preach to you! Who stop you in the street, and tell you that you need saving! Or explain to you how God's light can enhance you. I can't even count the number of times people have told me I need saving.. is it because I fucked up God's temple by getting tattoos and piercings. Is it because you can see my soul, and it is SCREAMING for some bright white light to smack it upside the head? I do not tell you that you need mental help for thinking things you do.. so just stop.
I've been left pamphlets at workplaces, about how my soul will burn if I don't beg for saving. That's straight ignorant! These people protest about every little thing that offends them.. Gay marriage, abortion, Halloween.. basically everything they dislike. When do non-religious people protest outside a church on Sunday screaming at them that they are wrong? I should start! Who's in?!?
Wars are started based on religion, and thousands of people die.. Does that sound like something a loving God would want to happen?
Aliens.. well.. that can't be.. because we are the only intelligent beings in this VAST universe ya know! Ha.. ya.. that has intelligence written ALL over it! How ignorant and small minded can you be. There has to be something out there... we haven't even begun to see everything in the universe.. it goes on forever!
Dinosaurs.. God put fossils in the ground, to test our faith! WTF!! That is insane! How can anyone possibly think that.. and fully never doubt that may not be fact.
But don't question what you've been trained to believe! God might smite your stupid ass!

Thanks for reading, Chris!

Hey Chris, thanks for reading my blog! And being concerned when it is not updated!
I love you! Happy 1 year Anniversary, and thanks for the beautiful flowers :)

The things ladies put up with...

Sigh.. Iv'e worked in retail off and on quite a bit. Unfortunately there are always the people who are going to be the most arrogant people you can come across.. It's awful.
Today, I had one of those situations that just made me so angry!
I had 2 girls and a guy come in. One of the ladies was pregnant, and was shopping to "get things going" as she was almost ready for labour. That alone, baffled me.. The other two were in a relationship.
The two in the relationship were in a corner of the store, and she was looking at many things. Her bf straight looked at her and said "Babe, not to be rude.. but nothing in this store is going to fit you." I gasped.
She was obviously very offended. His response? "Sorry, but it's not". Then prego pipes up and says "Well, maybe like a corset that she can tie?"
Needless to say, the girl ran out crying. Her bf and prego follwed her to the car. There she sat, crying, as he was trying to hug her. They got in the car and left.
What a fucking prick! Are you kidding me? First and foremost, this girl was maybe an XL, maybe a little bigger in some of the items we carry, as they do run small. Second of all, I work in a lingerie store.. the things she was looking at, were garments basically for him, and he says that!? Good grief! If Chris ever said anything like that to me, running away crying would be the last thing I would do.. He would first get a good, swift kick in the junk! Not to mention my ginger rage.. I would be furious to say the least! However, I know he would NEVER say anything like that, not for fear from what I just said, but because he is respectful, cares about me and loves me. That thought would never enter his head!
That being said, why do women put up with that shit?! She deserves much better than that, any woman does.
Not just did she put up with it from her man, but from her friend too?? Fuck off! Never in my life would I say shit like that to my friends, nor would they say that to me. Respect. And really, who was prego to say anything? (here is where my inner bitch comes out..) You are pregnant, about to go into labour, and with your friends.. not a bf/husband.. shopping for lingerie while being 9 months along.. hmm.. wonder how that baby got there?
That poor girl. I hope one day she can find herself a decent guy, who treats her right, and some decent friends, who respect her for who she is, rather than judges her and makes her feel like shit about herself.